"Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. It is not something to do if you can squeeze in the time in. It is what GOD gave you the time for".
Another Mother's Day has gone, and I honestly can't believe how fast this year is flying by... I begin to wonder if I am present enough with my kids, the mom guilt is settling in. I wonder if they will remember the times I nagged them to clean up their rooms, and stop fighting with each other. Will they remember the cuddles and bed-time stories? If you google anything about motherhood, you will get hundreds of blog posts on tips how to be a better mom, and loads of parenting advice. In today's busy world we mama's are juggling so many things, and wearing 100 different hats. Honestly, I don't think we need more advice on how to parent our kids. Our own guilt tells us when we screamed at them too much, and how we need to say sorry asap. I believe we need more moms that will encourage each-other on this journey, called motherhood. One of my favorite things about blogging is being able to connect with other moms. Most of them live in different states, and some in different countries but motherhood unites us! Moms crave for community and understanding...
Regardless of how we parent our kids we need more moms to stand together and be an encouragement for each other. Motherhood can be lonely, tiring, and filled with anxiety. I am writing from my perspective, and what I experienced as a mother. Behind all the beautifully edited Instagram images, there is a mama that is longing for real community, and authentic relationships. A place where I can sit at the table, and be myself. So many mama's want to be invited to a play-date, because all they do is change-diapers and talk to kiddos all day. I wonder what would happen if we were aware of the other mama's around us, and became more inclusive. When Martin and Mila were younger, I was a stay at home mama. I loved to host brunches. It was my way of loving the moms around me. I would plan out these 5 course meals and love on my friends. I knew we can't go to the local cute brunch spots in downtown with all our babies behaving. So I tried to recreate those brunches at home. The moms would appreciate all the love I poured into the prepping and cooking. Those were some of the sweetest times I had with friends, and I miss being able to host those brunches. Being a working mom changed a lot of things in our life, and I knew I wouldn't have the time to host as many brunches because I simply don't have the time. When I am not working, I have a million other things to do around the house. I honestly miss not having other moms to go out to the park, or have over for coffee. As much as I love the community of mama's and women I have online, NOTHING replaces real friendships. I was talking to Roman, and broke down how lonely I feel. He encouraged me to give myself grace, and make time for going out with other moms. So I started being more intentional with my evenings. Once a month I meet with other foster and adoptive mama's. We get dolled up and go out for dinner. I began to see the value of community, and how much I missed being around other moms. I now look forward to our next moms night out, because I know these mama's get me! I know the conversations will be good. We kinda talk about everything, and the laughs are just the best. I encourage you to find moms that are like-minded. Begin to cultivate relationships that go deeper, and filled with grace, love, and understanding.
Let's talk about comparison in motherhood. Comparing myself to others is something I have struggled for years, and it only got worse after I became a mom. It begins with second guessing myself. Am I doing everything right? Talking to other moms, and how they have the time to do everything! Enough time for bed-time stories, keeping a perfect and tidy home...It makes me feel kinda bad about myself. I HAVE TO STAY GROUNDED AND ROOTED IN GOD"S WORD! Many people can look at my life, and think I have it all put together. That is the furthest thing from the truth. Yes, I am OCD about almost everything, but I am far from "perfect". I struggle with comparing myself to other moms who appear to have it all. And social media can play a big factor. The latest Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest worthy images can begin to mess with how we see ourselves as mother's. As much as I love social media, I need to be careful not to put my worth into everything I see. I often talk about this on my Instagram, how we only see the edited and most perfect images of others. I only share the perfect images of myself most of time. Sure if you follow me on Instagram, I share a lot more of our real life on stories; but that too is edited. Ladies believe me... all the other moms and bloggers we only share the good stuff. Even if Mason just had a meltdown, and I'm exhausted from the responsibilities of life, I am not going to share all the messy juicy details of my life. So next time you see a perfect edited image of me, or someone else know that is just a little part of our life...because the reality is we all have dirty kitchens to clean up, piles of laundry that need to be folded, and no makeup exhausted days.
I often write in my journal about trying to find my worth in who God created me to be. I am tired of pretending to be perfect. My identity is solely written by God, and not by this world.... We are enough in the eyes of our Creator!
To the tired mama, you are enough.
To the anxiety and depressed mama, you are enough.
To the mama that needs to always be perfect. You are enough.
To the mama that feels unworthy and insecure. You are not enough.
I write to myself first, and hope this blog post can encourage you to see yourself as.... WORTHY, CHOSEN, LOVED, FORGIVEN, BRAVE, BEAUTIFUL. Your kids are crazy about you! They offer us so much grace and love. Let's be mama's that extend that same child-like pure grace, and love to ourselves, and others.
I find myself holding on to the truth of the Gospel, and wanted to share two of my favorite scriptures about grace. Jesus bought us with a price, to set us free; from guilt, shame and comparison!
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast". Ephesians 2:8-9.
You are doing hard things mama. You are not "JUST" a mom. I know we hear that a lot! But truly as you read this blog post, know you are enough. I hope I can encourage you today to love everything about motherhood. The messy, and beautiful parts. The days when you are counting down the minutes until your husband comes home from work, because you can't take another meltdown. I know we do the same things everyday...but there is so much beauty, and joy being able to watch our little people grow up. I want to enjoy every season. Our little humans grow up so fast! Martin will be 9 in August, Mila 7 in July, and my little baby Mason is now a toddler...turning 2 in September. Insert major crying emoji! Each season is filled with new learning opportunities for all of us. We mama's create the love, and atmosphere in our homes.
So cheers to motherhood, and embracing every season. Cultivating authentic community, and less pretense.
Cheers to more lazy days with our babies. More cuddles. Laughter. Doing more of the important stuff, like teaching valuable lessons to our kiddos. Mama's we are raising the next generation!
Cheers to always knowing your worth, and being a mommy is the greatest gift God can freely give us...
You are loved mama!