Y'all I can't believe we are entering 2018! This year has flown by so fast, I remember last Christmas having a 3 month old baby and now Mason is running around and starting to talk. I begin to reflect on this year and if I am honest with y'all for me it's been very difficult. Yes as a family we have enjoyed some great successes, like watching our babies grow up and seeing my husband advance in his career but for me professionally it's been a challenge. I started analyzing this year and a lot of anxiety and stress is caused by my work. I have spent countless hours editing, blogging, outfit planning, reaching out to potential wardrobe clients, working on my Instagram account and the list goes on and on. My husband is the only one that sees all the hard work I put into my small business and a few days ago I had a major nervous breakdown. My body couldn't physically go on. I had a panic attack that caused me so much pain! The anxiety and lack of sleep mixed in with the failed dreams I have thought for myself was to much that I really didn't know how to handle it... I am not sharing for y'all to feel sorry for me, I'm sharing because some people think my life is perfect. That is the furthest thing from the truth. Yes I have a great life but I also have a lot of struggles. From insecurity to struggling with loneliness especially around the holiday's. Having everyone around us spend Christmas or New Year's with their families and it's just the 5 of us. The truth is for the people that really know me, they know I love people. That is why I try to host gatherings often and stay busy all the time to help me deal with my ache to be around my close family and friends. So I wanted to share this raw and honest post to hopefully inspire others to see hope and love in every season of life. Roman and I believe the Lord did move us to Houston for this season for many reasons and the first being is baby Mason. God always has a plan regardless if I see it or not. I am literally fighting for joy and peace everyday and know my God is good. He loves me and knows what's best for my life.
I wrote down these 10 New Year resolutions and wanted to share with y'all.
1. Spend more time in God's Word and pray. If I am honest with y'all I have not been in the Word as I should be. I put God on the back burner and read the Word only to check off the Christian box. If I was really honest I used to love to spend time with God, it was my refuge and place of peace and hope but lately I have not spent the time with my Savior. I need to stop making excuses and simply be with Him.
2. Go to bed earlier. I know this is the cause of a lot of issues in my life! If I go to bed late then I don't want to wake up early and spend time with God. I wake up with just enough time to get myself put together and get the kids ready for school. I need to turn off my computer and go to bed earlier and stop working so late into the night. There will always be work, chores, and organizing to catch up on but I need to take care of myself first and go to bed earlier!
3. Stop giving a damn so much of what others think of me! I have struggled with this my entire life. As social as I am, inside I am incredibly insecure and question every decision that I make. It has caused me a lot of depression and anxiety. I have read a lot of self help books and nothing helps more then knowing who you are in Christ. His Word is my only healer. The more I know who I am in Christ and who He says I am, the less I care of what other's think and live out the plan God has for my life.
4. Be and spend more intentional time with my family. This is a big one for me and I have lacked quality time with my family because this year I spent so much time building my business that my family suffered the most. When I am not working I have a hard time just enjoying them. I think about all the chores I need to do and meals I need to make. Rather then having a schedule and simply being present with my family. Turning off the little voice in my head and enjoying my gifts that are growing up so fast. My family grounds my priorities and gives me purpose to see what is most important in life.
5. Eat more healthy. I love food! I love to cook and bake. Our family doesn't eat out everyday, we eat a lot of home cooked meals but I don't always cook healthy food. I like to cook with real butter. I don't follow healthy cooking recipes, I cook from my heart and love to enjoy food. But I need to be more cautious and start cooking more healthy food for myself and our family. I have no problem going to the gym, love working out but then I come home and eat chocolate cake. I know it's terrible so I told myself I need to create a cheat day and eat clean most of time and enjoy my sugar craving less often! Life is about balance; less sugar more veggies...Right? :)
6. Invest more time with my blog. I love to write and share my thoughts with y'all. I invested so much time in Instagram and have neglected my blog. Instagram has given me a lot of business opportunities but I know blogging is where I have been slacking and need to step up my game.
7. Stop comparing myself with others and enjoy my journey. We have all heard that comparison is the theif of joy and really it is so true! Stop negative self talk.
8. Spend more time with Roman. Go on more dates and spend time just the two of us. One of the most difficult things about living away from your families is not having childcare for your kids. Having a little guy in foster care means we can't leave our son with anyone, they need to be approved by CPS. We can't wait to finally adopt him and have some of our close neighbors and friends watch our kids so we can go away for a night and have some much needed alone time. In the meantime I need to get creative about date nights and carve alone time for just the 2 of us in our busy schedule. Roman is my best friend and sometimes feels like he gets my left over time. This year I want to prioritize us more and say no to other things to have room for more quality time with him.
9. Give back more with my time, talents, money and spread kindness in our broken world. Regardless of how busy my life is I want to be able to give back more to the people around me and others that I don't know. Life is about being a blessing and loving others. I get so much joy loving people and being a blessing that I miss visiting shelters and people that are less fortunate. Sometimes it's the person that makes our coffee that needs a encouraging word or a tired mama of little's that needs a home cooked meal. It doesn't have to be big things to make a impact. We all have different talents and gifts that are meant to bless others. Kindness is free and it goes a long way...
10. Save more, spend less. A few years ago before we bought our home we wanted to fully be out of debt so we did the Dave Ramsey plan. It was a lot of work but we lived on a tight budget, I worked multiple jobs and we accounted for every dollar. That was a very difficult time in our life and at the same time very rewarding. I don't think I ever want to be as religious about spending money but we have become very careless and need to cut out some of our habits and start saving more money.
I hope y'all enjoyed reading my 10 New Year resolutions I would love to know yours...please give them in the comments below! I hope 2018 brings you lots of love, happiness and great health! For us to see the beauty in the everyday and treasure our free gifts and live with a grateful heart!
Lots of love,
Your stylist and friend!