"God made us sisters, our hearts made us friends. Love keeps us bonded through thick and thin...".
Ladies let's get real and talk about friendships. I wanted to write this post for a long time and finally taking the time to write about something that is very important to me. Relationships: friendships. I love people. I love to talk. I love to hear your story. I love to entertain, go out for brunch. I love community. There is something so special about friendships, it has the power to encourage, heal and create lasting memories. Throughout my life I have been blessed to have some amazing friendships. Some that have lasted for over 17 years and others that have recently bloomed into something beautiful. We are all different and somethings that are important to me in a friendship, might not be important to you. And finally this post is dedicated to 2 of my most treasured relationships. The first and most important is my husband Roman, he is the definition of a real friend; honest, caring and loving. And my sister Dana, she has encouraged me in my darkest days. Her warm and giving heart inspires me to be a better friend. I love you sis!
Here is what a friendship means to me...
A friend is honest yet loving. I remember the first years of our marriage when I really needed to grow up. I was 18 and let's say a daddy's girl that was not told no not nearly enough! :) I was selfish and honestly just needed some though love. My husband would be honest and incredibly loving towards me. At first it made me mad as hell because it's annoying to be corrected for someone that thinks they know everything! But he was honest with me. It build a strong foundation for our marriage. Roman doesn't talk a lot but when he does wisdom comes out of his mouth. That's why we balance each other out so much! He allows me to be me and I never want to change him. Regardless of our differences Roman always loves me enough to let me know when I need to relax, stop being selfish and gives me a different perspective. There is no real friendship without honesty.
A true friend is someone that does not gossip about you or anyone else. I know we all ladies have been guilty of gossiping about someone and this is something that makes me cringe! I am honestly embarrassed of all the times I let my tongue get the best of me and I didn't use wisdom, and talked crap about someone. I always try to be mindful but I have slipped more times then I am proud of. I know we all can get better and stop gossiping about each other. Some of the toughest times of my life were when I would hear some of the private things I shared to so called "friends" being retold to someone else. I honestly was so bitter, angry, and embarrassed for sharing to that person and I let my guard down. My sister Dana just left and we were talking about that. How I don't really care about cultivating real and meaningful relationships because I have been burned so much! The saddest part about gossip is it happens so so much in the church! I have memories of sharing my heart to other ladies and then having my mom call me and tell me she heard that person talking about me! And we went to 2 different churches! I hate gossip. I hate to gossip, it destroys friendships. Years of beautiful memories will go away if we are not careful and control our tongue. "Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless". James 1:26. This is a reality check if you call yourself a Christ-follower, there is no room in your life for gossip.
A friend is someone who is generous. This one is so important to me! My closest girl friends are incredibly generous. I don't have time for people who are stingy, self-centered and not giving. I love to do life with people and generosity plays a big role. Regardless of your budget, being a generous and giving person is a heart issue. I don't care how much you spend on eating out or how fancy your clothes is! If you are cheap and not a blessing then life with you is boring and self-serving. I have been taken advantage of many many times and the older I am getting the less time I have for people that are selfish and just want to be free- loaders. I hope I am not coming across rude but honestly there is nothing more annoying then always being the host and never being invited. I don't care if you don't know how to entertain, Trader Joe's and Whole Foods does. It's simply inviting someone over or taking out your friend out for coffee. I was raised by very generous and giving parents. They taught us the importance of generosity and hospitality. I want pass this gift on to my children. One of my favorite qualities about my husband is his generous and giving heart. When we were dating I knew he was my person, I couldn't spend the rest of my life with someone that was a penny pitcher and never wanted to bless others with what God gave him. We have had some challenging times in our marriage but that never changed my man's heart, he always knows how to be a blessing to the people around us...
There are friends that come and go and others stay for a lifetime...we experience the loss of a good friendship and learn life lessons along the way. We love and hurt. "A true friend accepts who you are, but also helps you to become who you should be". I am incredibly grateful to do life with a few close friends that inspire, encourage and speak truth into my life. I love how regardless of how busy life gets we always make time for each other. Through a simple phone call, text, or hand written card there is nothing more beautiful then having a few friends that love you for you. In the past I tried to act a certain way to be included but a few years ago I was going through the hardest season of my life and realized it's not the amount of friends I have, it's the quality...I am so grateful for my husband! He shows me everyday what a friendship looks like and I am incredibly grateful to do life with my best friend and lover.
Lastly, I wanted to talk about how amazing my sister Dana is. I know I don't tell her enough how much she means to me but I wanted to publicly honor her because today is her birthday! She is one of the most caring, selfless people I know. She puts others needs before her own all the time. She is generous. Loving. At the same time she pisses me off like no one else but I love her so much! We sometimes fight like cats and dogs! My husband tells me he doesn't get our crazy relationship but THIS IS US. I love her and I know she loves me. She spent a few days with us visiting from Sacramento and I already miss our coffee and taco dates, Dana, you are a gem and forever my best-friend!
I encourage you to look at you life and ask yourself what kind of friend you are? For me I want to be someone that encourages, inspires and speaks life into our broken world. Regardless if you are a christian or not, having qualities of a good friend is important. My husband taught me the importance of being a good listener. I'm still working on that but have had the best times learning from wise friends that encourage and inspire. Having a daughter that is growing up I want to teach Mila the characteristics of a good friendship. In order for me to do that I need to be a good friend... There is so much more we can talk about friendships and what makes a good friend...I'd love to know what to you look for in a friendship? What are some of your favorite memories with a good friend. How have you dealt with a loss of a friendship?
I find myself craving for authentic relationships built on love, respect and honesty. Regardless of our differences we all deserve to have meaningful friendships that make us stronger, better and more beautiful!
Sending lots of love!
Your stylist and friend,